My Medical Fun

This post is a bit of a departure from tasty recipes, fun vacation pictures, or reviews and delves into the scary world of personal issues, specifically medical ones.  Don't worry; later on this week I'll try to get around to posting something delicious to make up for it.  Maybe a cheesecake recipe.

So it seems over the last couple of years (most likely that long, anyway), one of my ovaries has gotten delusions of grandeur and has waged a campaign to slowly take over my insides by way of a cyst.  Minus any pain, lacking changes in the way certain body functions have always operated, and increases in my gym activity coinciding with it starting to grow, this insidious plot was able to continue unabated until my wily doctor (not to be confused with Dr. Wily) detected something amiss during my yearly physical and sent me off to have an ultrasound. 

Sure enough, a mass that looked suspiciously like a cyst was discovered and I was next sent off to have an MRI (well, actually two MRIs).  I'm really really glad I'm not claustrophobic.  I was about ready to claw my way out of the MRI machine by the end, though, but that's only because I hadn't been allowed to move or breathe very deeply for about an hour and fifteen minutes by the time I was done.  Plus, it was super loud in there.  I'd been warned beforehand about that, but no amount of warning could have prepared me for the reality!  Anyway, a few days later I got a call from the doctor's office telling me that, yup, there's a big ol' cyst there, it needs to go, and I'm being referred to a surgical oncologist for a consult.  At this point I didn't really ask any questions, mostly because I happened to be in the work van with my boss when I got called.  Not really a conversation I felt like having in front of the old man.

 It was at this appointment that I finally thought to ask just how big this thing actually was.  I knew that it was supposedly "very large", but really, how large could that possibly be?  There's only so much room in one's insides, what with all those organs in there, right?  So, maybe like the size of my fist?  Ah, no.  Bigger than that.  Think comically large.  Think football-sized.  Yeaaaahhhhhh.  I was also going to be further referred to a gynecological oncologist.  I had that appointment today.

I'll be having surgery to get the monstrosity removed on March 1 and there's good news and possibly bad news.  Bad news first: there's a possibility that the offending ovary and tube will have to be removed.  This is the only part of this medical saga that's gotten me upset (other than some now-resolved snafus involving insurance).  I do want to have kids someday and that won't help.  But, it's still only a possibility, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it, and in the meantime I'll try not to think about it too much.  Now, good news!  I will most likely lose at least ten pounds just from having the surgery!  Plus, this godforsaken beastie has been causing me to retain fluid in my legs, so that'll clear up.  And!  I'll most likely have more energy after this is all over with!  I see some new-pants-shopping in my future.  The amount of time I'll have to be out of work should be less than I'd feared as well; probably only two or three weeks as opposed to the six I was expecting. 

My parents will be coming to take care of me, their favoritest child, the day before the surgery and plan on staying for about a week.  My sister (the least favorite daughter) is coming too, and will stay for a few days.  Plus, a friend will be taking the day off to assist with family-wrangling (specifically mother-wrangling) duties.  Though I think my mother has finally calmed down with regards to all this, thanks at least in part to my own general nonchalance about the whole thing.  We'll see.

So that's what's going on with me.  How've you been?